phew!

Exams are over. For now. I have another one coming up soon but I'm going to pretend that I don't right now because these have been the hardest exams I have ever sat and yesterday afternoon I was questioning my sanity!

Monday's exam was a disaster. I knew all the stuff and right now I can't even remember what went wrong. I just recall that I WAS NOT HAPPY.

Tuesday's was mildly better however I'm not convinced I will have passed. I expect I did OK in the case study (section A) but not so good in the second section so it all hinges on just how well I did in the first section. It will be close.

Today's exam went well. I'd be surprised if I failed.

The bits in between the exams were a nightmare. Sunday I stressed, Monday morning I stressed, Monday night I stressed, all night Monday I kept waking up with exam questions in my head, consequently I felt ill (and stressed!) all day Tuesday due to lack of sleep. Last night Daren convinced me to take a sleeping pill so I was actually refreshed and mildly chilled out this morning! And my brain has been so exhausted that I've been saying the weirdest things!

Anyway, it's over and there's no point stressing so these exams are now forgotten about until the start of August when the results are due.

So, back to writing.

I made it to the launch of Wannabe a Writer on Saturday. Just. I had been planning to see a friend who I haven't seen since her 21st birthday (many years ago!) afterwards but I was ill so crawled home to bed where I stayed until the thing that happened on Monday that I've forgotten about now!

The launch was fab! I chatted to Katie Fforde, Sarah Duncan and Maria McCarthy (all lovely ladies!) for a considerable amount of time before getting a copy of Wannabe a Writer, getting it signed by Jane Wenham-Jones and many of the contributors and then crawling home.

Now, as you may have gathered, I have been busy but even so I managed to find time to read the bits on finding an agent and, feeling inspired, emailed queries to four agents. Two have already responded with form rejections.

Anyway, it's back to work tomorrow. As previously mentioned, I have a very much muddled brain so I was kind of hoping to sit at my desk for two days doing very little while I recovered but I forgot that having had a week's annual leave and study leave and exam leave, I have a lot of work to catch up on that I promised people I would do this Thursday and Friday.

Still, it's a bank holiday weekend (yay!) and the following weekend we are off to Bournemouth to spend five days on the beach (yay!) so I can't complain too much...except for the fact that I have to start studying for the next exam next week...

the library is not a quiet place...

As the company I work for is paying for me to study and wishes me to pass my exams, they gave me three days off this week to revise. So, each day I got up and went to the library where:
- I revised for 12 hours over three days
- I wrote 67 and a quarter pages of notes

I also aggravated my RSI, rediscovered my love of M&B Medicals and learnt that the library is not a quiet place.

On Wednesday afternoon on my second trip to the library that day, I struggled to study while teenaged school students hung around talking loudly, complaining that all the computers were busy and arguing with the security guard when he asked them to keep the noise down. I managed to revise an entire course and was pleasantly surprised at how much I remembered, and I decided to be at the library at opening time on Thursday and do my revising in one sitting rather than taking a lunch break mid way through.

On Thursday I was at the opening just after opening time....as were class after class after class of primary school children! Noisy, but no where near as bad as the teenagers. Another course was revised.

Today I was at the library just after opening time again but spent the first half hour texting a work colleague because I was a little bored with revising and struggled to get into it. I'd just got into it when it kicked off. I have no idea what it was about but a man started yelling at the top of his voice at the library staff and it went on for ages. Security was called and at several stages I'm sure everyone in the library expected the police to be called. About half an hour later the man calmed down and left. Despite the interruption, I revised by third and final course and came home to enjoy a little of the sunshine on the balcony.

Exams start on Monday afternoon.

I feel like I have done all I can. I know I've studied hard since January.

On the writing front, I received a rejection from the agent I sent Breaking the Rules to this afternoon. I'm a little down about it but this was the first time I'd ever queried an agent so rejections are to be expected.

I'm off to Borders in Charing Cross Road tomorrow to get a copy of Wannabe a Writer by Jane Wenham-Jones. Jane and several of the contributors to the book will be in store from 12-4pm. I had intended to take the book on holiday with me in two weeks but I have a feeling I'll be reading it either over the weekend or straight after exams so I can soak up any tips before sending my ms to another agent.

On a funny note, my Tesco clubcard statement turned up in the post today. They include a couple of vouchers for extra points; usually things like 20 points for spending more than £1 on bananas or 20 points for spending more than £10 on bread. Sometimes they get used. Sometimes they go in the bin. One of today's vouchers: 100 points for buying any M&B! I am definitely not going to have a problem using that! Am already waiting impatiently for June to buy Kelly Hunter's next Modern Extra.

exam stress...

This time in two weeks I will be a complete, utter mess. I will have sat three three hour exams in three days and will probably be lying on the sofa sleeping having eaten fish and chips for dinner followed by ice cream. I am sooooo looking forward to these exams being over.

I know I always worry I won't pass but this time, I'm really worried! These exams are the first for the new syllabus. That means that, unlike previous exams, there aren't years worth of exam papers online which I can download, digest, review, analyse, study and compare.

Before past exams, I have gone through five or six old exam papers, learning what questions are always asked, what questions are unlikely to come up again - just generally getting a feel for what I'm about to face. This has helped me decide what areas I need to focus on (either weak points or strong areas that I know I can get really good marks on if the question comes up in section B).

This time round, there is one exemplar paper for each exam. I know the theory, I practice it almost every day, but these questions seem foreign to me and I have even less understanding of the sample answers.

This time round, I feel like I simply don't know enough.

It may be that I'm just putting too much pressure on myself. In previous years, I've sat two exams in May and two in November, a total of four a year. This year I am sitting seven exams.

It's damn hard to work a full day and then come home to study.

I'm not after pity. I'm just venting in the hope that it will make me feel better. I still have this weekend and three days official study leave next week, plus that weekend and then the commute to each exam during which I will be reviewing diagrams and the like one final time in the hope that something will stick.

I know this stuff. I do it every day. I will pass my exams. I will. I will. I will.

men!

Let me start by saying I am petrified of spiders. Petrified of them. I know they are small (at least some of them are) and are probably more scared of me than I am of them blah, blah, blah but I am petrified of them all the same.

So, imagine my horror when I look up from my study early this afternoon to see a HUGE spider on the top of the shelves.

I mentioned this to my husband who usually removes such things from our house for me and he duly wheeled his chair over to the shelves to remove the thing, or so I thought. However, this time round he flicked the thing at me.

After much screaming, being chased around the house and tears, yes lots of tears, my darling husband (who was almost wetting himself with laughter while I had tears streaming down my face) admitted it was PLASTIC.

He is truly horrible.

congratulations nell!

Huge congratulations to Nell Dixon for winning the RNA Romance Prize at the Savoy on Friday with her book Marrying Max!!!!!!

A friend pointed out I hadn't updated my blog for a while, which is mainly because I'm not writing just at the moment. I'm studying frantically for exams! I have exams on May 21st, 22nd and 23rd and currently have a week off from work which I took with the intention of studying hard. I am studying but I am also doing other things like relaxing, enjoying the sunshine, catching up with the housework which tends to get forgotten when I'm writing or studying, and spending time with my husband.

Sadly, I haven't done any writing since sending my partial off to an agent at the end of March. I was feeling fine about it until I looked at the first chapter of one of my mss this morning and decided I wanted to send it somewhere! I must be patient and not send anything until I hear back from this agent.

I have promised myself some writing time straight after exams, but it will only be brief as the next exam is on August 3rd.

But I promise you I am reading your blogs on an almost daily basis!